Failures

Preface - If you follow me on Instagram you might want to skip this blog post. You've already heard my mini sob story. Enjoy your favorite tasty treat and join me back next time for a fun FO post. Mmmmm chooooocolate.

Most of the stuff I post on the blog are successes. This is because I'm super anal retentive about muslins, have been sewing for decades and am a pretty good judge of what works with my particular set of fitting issues. But this month I took a gamble on a pattern and lost in a major way.

Here's the "offender" right here, Vogue 5290. 

Looking at the fashion illustration again I still know why I bought it. The ladies look so pretty in their world with no gravity. Also I want a matching turban hat for something in the near future. And gloves, lots of gloves.  Have you all figured out that I'm an accessory junkie yet?   OK, let's move on.   When buying this design I knew that the bottom half was a gamble.  I'm a 40 year old woman with a nice c-section fat shelf and a big ass. I probably need hip/admondon gathers like a fish needs a bicycle. But this puppy was $12 bucks and I thought, "Let's roll the dice baby!!!! We can always sew it in a big print!"

It wasn't until the hard copy was in my hands that I realized the design also has gathers in the side seam of the waist. Oh crap, that usually doesn't work with my short torso/low bust combo.  I don't have enough waist to gather material up on!  Despite the number of red flags waving I decided to continue to roll the dice.  Vegas baby, Vegas!

So yes I did spend my Sunday grading this pattern up to my size. Then all of my free Monday sewing up a muslin to find *Insert Drum Roll Here*  It was a GIANT HOT MESS!

Oh you lost big time baby.

Issue 1 - Side seam ruching still a terrible idea on me.  It doesn't even read as ruching because pretty much everyone told me the torso was too long.  Yeah it kind of is because the ruching doesn't say in the waist area.  I could take the ruching out but then I need to add bust darts and ain't nobody got time for that.

Issue 2 -  V shaped abdomen yoke just as bad as it could possibly be on a mature figure. Just say no to "Lady Grotto" ruffles from now on Heather.  You live in a world with gravity and cake.

Issue 3 - The top half of the bodice feels terrible.  Several of my Instagram followers suggested swapping in a different skirt because they thought the bodice was pretty.  I can tell you that it just looks pretty compared to the dumpster on fire that is the bottom half.  The armholes are way too small, the yoke band doesn't sit on my body right and the shoulders jut out at a weird angle.  I've graded up enough patterns at this point that I'm fairly sure that wasn't the problem.  My gut feeling is that this design was made for a very different shaped figure than mine.

So that's the story in a nutshell.  It could have been worse, I could have wasted good fabric on this pattern and thrown it directly in the trash can. At least with muslin you can make a sad horn sound and move on with your life.  To rebound from this I'm sewing another version of Hollywood 1413 with 3/4 length sleeve.....in velvet.  HAA HAA I'm a Mad Woman!  So look forward to a post that's 80% me bitching about hand basting velvet and tasting velvet fluff in my mouth. It's gonna be fun.