Pants fitting is hard!
So now let me give you some back story. I haven't had a proper fitting pair of pants since I hit puberty and developed the family derriere. The family derriere is large in proportion to the rest of the body and is very full at the bottom and ski slopes into the lower back. So that old adage of "take a pair of RTW pants that fit well," makes me want to grab said writer and smash their head into a wall repeatably. (SHE HULK SMASH!)
What if every pair of pants you've every bought gaps wildly at the CB and yet does not give you enough butt coverage to confidently bend over? (Other than maternity pants, which where the shizzel.) What if you've been living with a semi-wedge all your life that you're not even sure what a properly fitted pant is supposed to feel/look like? What if the properly fitted pants you see in fitting books looks like something your grandma would put on with her Keds to go buy mass quantities of fabric at auctions? OK maybe your grandma plays bingo, but you get my drift.
I've been working diligently (in spurts) on pants fitting since 2011. I've purchased several books, read blog posts, bought craftsy classes, talked to other sewcalists and still the cycle of pants fitting hate continues. It goes like something like this...
1. See slim blogger with "flat white girl butt" rocking a newly made pair of pants.
2. Think that looks fantastic I must buy that pattern.
3. Full of enthusiasm the pattern is purchased with thoughts, "This time I'm gonna make some awesome pants and look fabulous too."
4. Pattern is traced and first muslin cut out. Dreams of fabulousness continue with planning shirts that will go with the awesome pants.
5. 1st muslin is tried on and I am once again confronted with "yes my ass is that big." Still optimism remains, I have fitting books.... I can fix this.
6. Make 2nd muslin, try on. Think "I added 3 inches to the rise, how can this thing still be giving me a wedgie! Also what's with all the wrinkling on the back of my thighs?"
7. Make 3rd muslin, try on... there is still not enough ass room. I start scooping out the crotch but somehow it makes very little difference. My brain starts musing that the right measurement for the back crotch length must be some made up equation like (The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow - the number of red shirts killed in original star trek episodes x a number that Nathan Fillian is thinking right now.) Decide to add length to the front crotch too.
8. Make 4th muslin, try on... now the damn front is f'ed up and the back looks exactly the same. A pox upon you pants!!!
9. Remove front crotch alteration, scoop back crotch even lower, extend back crotch another inch. Make muslin #5, try on and.......@#&%^*(@&#%% the back looks exactly the same as it did in muslin #2. Commence a 15 min rant about how pants are a dirty dirty b**ch to my confused husband who replies with, "I thought your hobby was supposed to be fun."
10. There's a 50/50 split on the final step in the cycle of pants hate. A. I make the pants anyway figuring they are slightly better than RTW cause they don't gap at the back, or B. I light the pattern on fire while laughing maniacally and then go make knit tops.
This is my long ass way of saying I'm in the middle of pants fitting again and I see the cycle of pants hate repeating and it frustrates me. I don't want to hate pants because I vastly prefer wearing them. (Probably because I fall down a lot and not giving strangers and accidental up skirt shot is a real concern.) I want to be able to figure this out and then rock some (non granny) pants even though I have a giant ass. Is that really too much to ask for? Well I'm still on step 6 of the cycle of pants fitting hate so maybe, maybe this time things will be different. Cross your fingers for me.
