My Dark Writing Secrets in Blog Hop Form

8.27.2014

Do you hear that sound? It's kind of like the "Jaw's" theme. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, daaaaaa! Oh no, hide the children because the writing process blog hop has landed. That's right, My faux wife Leila of Threedresses.org nominated me to carry the blog hop torch.

Lelia and I have been fast friends since we bonded over not being at Comic Con to see the Firefly reunion. Sniff, no touching Caption Mal for us. At least we have our Jayne hats to keep us warm at night. You know you've met a kindred soul when all you have to do is look at them and suddenly find yourself laughing. Also she didn't even blink when I said, "Let's take some pictures with this stuffed lobster." It's a perfectly normal thing to do.
So let's get down to answering those questions in the style we've all become accustomed to.

Why do I write?
I write because deep down I must secretly like torturing myself.   To paraphrase Homer Simpson, "OK brain, I don't like you and you don't like me but let's work together to hammer out some blog posts." Sometimes my brain says, "Screw you, I'm going to catalog song lyrics and shop for shoes instead." Oh man shopping for shoes sounds good. I was just thinking about a pair of...... crap you distracted me again!
I'm not a chatty person by nature, which is probably why there are few things harder than writing. Sitting quietly, ignoring people while doing something crafty?  I'm can do that at pro levels.  Avoiding human contact for days? No problem.  Ahhh the sweet sound of silence only broken by my serger.  If you boiled it down, I'd say that 80% of my personality is "Miss Havisham only with fresh cake." That leaves the other 20% that wants to show stuff off and crack jokes.  So I write to appease that part. My brain gets battered into spiting out semi-coherent sentences and maybe something amusing if the stars align. I'm making this process sound awful and sometimes it is like pulling teeth. However if something is actually funny/informative/helpful to another person, then it was worth the effort it took to write about it. 

P.S. Once in a while writing is really easy and I sit at my computer gigging until my husband wants to know what's wrong me. I tell him I'm drunk.

What am I working on?
I'm working on accepting that I'll never be "top blog", but that I can work on making some parts of my blogging better. Sadly not the writing part cause I think being a mom has permanently damaged it. Good bye collage writing style that got me complements, hello disjointed ramblings. But hey we got Froggie and other assorted goofiness. Those things make me happy, cause I'm a big kid at heart.
I'm also working on planning my fall wardrobe...unsuccessfully.  My personal style seems to be in a state of flux, leaving me starting at patterns in a confused manner. I haven't the slightest idea what to make. Don't you hate when that happens? No matter what, I should stop procrastinating on making a new coat.  Hopefully my coat mojo returns from Canada with maple sugar candy and a handsome Mountie soon.

How does it differ from others of its genre?
Hacking and Fitting and Froggie, Oh My!  I have a small amount of guilt about my parents paying for a college education, only to have me stay home and bake copious amounts of cookies. Sorry Mom and Dad. Here have a plate of cookies.  At least I can share some of my knowledge with others through the blog.
Those parents also happen to both be teachers, so maybe some teaching germs infected me.  Ahhhh get it off, get it off! I swore I never teach anything!!!! ( I did swear this as a teenager. I also swore I'd never wear animal prints. Yeeeeeah.)

I didn't set out to make my blog different in these ways. It just sort of happened since I like hacking patterns, am super anal about fitting, and might be too crazy not to invent stories about Froggie.  Guess I'm "writing what I know." If that's the case then we really should discuss cake at some point of time. Froggie agrees to bake samples.

How does my writing process work?
Buckle up cause it's a multi-step process....

Step one - Get hopped up on chocolate.

Step two - Stare at blank screen for 45 minutes. Type and delete two sentences over and over again during that time.

Step three - Blank out and come back to find that there is a small usable paragraph written by some part of my brain that hasn't been damaged by mommy hormones. Or maybe written by Froggie, he tends to lurk around the keyboard.
Step four - Talk about fitting cause people like that and it usually produces a few more paragraphs.

Step five - Eat more chocolate, think "Be funny, be funny."  Wish I had cake.

Step Six - Stare at screen writing nothing for another hour. Then start padding with pictures.
Step Seven - Further pad with pop culture reference, stories about frog or weird things my husband says "Haa haa haa he said my dress was a T-shirt with a belt. That's gold Jerry, gold!"

Step Eight - Yell at Desmond to keep it down. God, is it too much to ask you to be completely silent for hours? (snort!)

Step Nine - Put comas everywhere.

Step Ten - Check for errors, miss half of them and hit publish. Celebrate by surfing the internet for pictures of Idris Elba
No Idris, don't hurt that beautiful sweater. Wait, maybe you should. Oh lord I'm so confused.

Anyway, time to rip my eyes away long enough to nominate two other bloggers to take part in the blog hop. I'll be tagging two ladies that I met because of the blog and then got to know through instagram and sew-a-longs.  

First up, Heather who blogs at "Where Heather grows."  Heather has been whipping out garments left and right this summer with out a frog assistant.  Maybe she has the pugs trained to hem.....if so I want some video.  I love her pink hair and seeing the same pattern remade in several different ways.

Secondly - Lisa G who blogs at "Notes from a Mad House Wife." Lisa is also a sewing maven and I love seeing what's she's working on in her instagram feed. Our fabric taste is somewhat similar, so I'm often drooling over a make before it's even finished.  If we were a similar size and build I'd be copying everything she sews.

37 comments:

  1. AHAHAHAHA - I WAS GOING TO NOMINATE HEATHER!!!!! You beat me to it. Quick, I'd better choose someone else to nominate instead! ;)

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  2. I sit upon a throne of lies!!! Muhaaa haaa!
    Guess I do all my chatting on the blog and get it out of my system. ;)

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  3. Aw thanks Laura. I'm mostly happy with the blog being how it is. Just have a tiny competitive streak that gets grumpy from time to time. But I'm glad you like reading and I appreciate you commenting all the time. :)

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  4. Oops!! I didn't even think of that. Will don the ribbons of shame. ;)

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  5. Heather you are an amazing blogger and in my eyes you are totally a "top blog"! You and I must have more than just our names in common because I would answer these questions in almost the same words. Thank you for the nomination - it's great to be noticed!
    PS: The pugs are well on their way to assisting my sewing, Shanny discovered that my serger's pedal makes an excellent pillow, and they all perked up when they heard Froggie has agreed to make cake samples.

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  6. Well. I stared at the picture of Mr.Elba for so long that Mr.Man asked me why am I looking at pictures of buff men in the internet. I tried to explain that I'm reading a blog post. I think he noticed the little trail of drool. Oopsies.


    Great post anyways, good to know I'm not the only one who struggles with finding words to describe my makes and to make the post interesting. :)

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  7. I can tell you were hopped up on chocolate for this one. I get the same state of euphoria/caffeine when I eat chocolate. By the way, the cake picture was totally unnecessary. Now I need one.

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  8. I love this post! Well, I love them all!! Mua!

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  9. You're posts always make me chuckle if not a full lol! You might be quiet in real life, but you definitely have a quick wit (I'm envious - I've only got the quiet thing going for me). I think the internet allows all of us with the quiet gene to at least get a chance of being heard by those who want to listen. One of my "rules of life" in high school was "beware of the quiet ones, for you never know when they're listening." *insert evil laugh here* (These days I should probably lengthen it to add "or lurking online to silently read their Twitter feed or blogs.") Thanks for writing your blog and being so fun on social media! =)

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  10. I thoroughly enjoyed this post, and for more than the grand man-candy finale. You and I, we have more in common than I thought - I enjoy silence and solo stitching time more than anything.

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  11. Miss Havisham with fresh cake.... I love it! I could use that phrase to describe myself. I love your blogs - they always get a chuckle. I just hope that Froggie didn't feel to jealous of all the attention paid to the lobster recently!

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  12. You're posts always make me chuckle if not a full lol! You might be
    quiet in real life, but you definitely have a quick wit (I'm envious -
    I've only got the quiet thing going for me). I think the internet allows
    all of us with the quiet gene to at least get a chance of being heard
    by those who want to listen. One of my "rules of life" in high school
    was "beware of the quiet ones, for you never know when they're
    listening." *insert evil laugh here* (These days I should probably
    lengthen it to add "or lurking online to silently read their Twitter
    feed or blogs.") Thanks for writing your blog and being so fun on social
    media! =)


    (btw I thought this comment posted hours ago! But I guess Disqus ate it. Good thing I always copy before posting and I hadn't copied anything else since so it was still in the clipboard.)

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  13. i wouldn't have guessed that you're a fellow "i'm just gonna sit here and enjoy the silence" kind of person, but i completely relate! in fact that's one of the reasons why i love sewing--helps me tune out the noise. i loved getting a glimpse of your process, i think any good writer agonizes for a long while before reaching something acceptable enough to hit publish on. you're one of the most entertaining reads out there, so at least the agony is paying off! thanks for tagging me, now i'm gonna sit and stare at a blinking cursor while i figure out my own process... :)

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  14. I get so amused by the husband comments on your garments/outfits. And Idris - you definitely cannot blame that nip slip on a wardrobe malfunction....

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  15. I know what you mean about the competitive streak. I want to be the best damn *sewing and travelling and other random stuff* blog out there!


    Sometimes I'm too busy to comment on blogs, so I try to do it when I do have time. I know how much I like reading peoples comments on mine, so it seems only fair to share the love.

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  16. As always I really enjoyed your post. It was so interesting to find out more about you, I had this image that you cracked jokes all day (because your blog is so funny) and that you would dash off all this amazing writing in a few minutes (but surprised by the lack of alcohol in the process) ....in other words a bit of a scary person! As it is it is great to hear you are more like the rest of us! And if I ever have the luck to meet you in person I won't be so scared! Love your blog it is definitely one of my favourites and I follow 125 so I know what I'm talking about!

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  17. Helen // Grosgrain GreenAugust 28, 2014 at 4:57 AM

    Love your blog, so it is definitely worth the pain to get it out there!!! Now can you please write a post about how you manage so much sewing with a small child? Mine just wants to play with the sharp things, or complains he can't hear the TV over the sewing machine/serger noise!!!

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  18. First you fill my brain with Captain Tightpants and then the delicious Idris Elba. Did you write something in between? Just kidding! I enjoy your casual writing style. it's like we're chatting. Okay, my attention is going back to yummy eye candy....

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  19. First you fill my brain with Captain Tightpants and then the delicious Idris Elba. Did you write something in between? Just kidding! I enjoy your casual writing style. it's like we're chatting. Okay, my attention is going back to yummy eye candy....

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  20. Well, I love your blog and your writing very, very much if that makes all the trouble worth it. I also struggle with the BE FUNNY admonishing.

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  21. Thank you Heather!!! I'm honored to be one of your top blogs. :) Tell the Pugs that Froggie will make sure they eat get a personal cake if they help you with the sewing.

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  22. LOL Fooniks! I was uploading that picture when my Mr. was around. Quickly changed the tab so that I didn't need to answer any awkward questions.


    I'm glad you enjoyed the post. Lord, sometimes finding the words seems crazy hard.

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  23. Haa haa, I'm hopped up on cold medicine too. Woooooo! Sorry about the cake picture. It was rather cruel of me. I'll send Froggie over with a slice.

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  24. Kisses faux Wife. I'm glad that you liked it. :)

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  25. Maybe I should finish all my posts with Idris. :) Silent stitching is the best. I look forward to when my husband takes Des to the park and the house is Mine all MINE! Muhaaaa!

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  26. Hooray! I was wondering if someone who enjoy that bit about Miss Havisham. :) High five Fiona. I've been making sure to give Froggie some extra cake so that he don't feel overlooked.

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  27. Thank you Brooke. The internet is really great for us quiet folk to get a little chatty if we feel like it. And when we don't we can go back to silent lurking. Muhaaaaa!!!

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  28. LOL. I think I love it more when my husband hates/doesn't get a garment. His comments are so much more creative then.

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  29. I couldn't agree more about using sewing as a "tuning out the noise method". Sometimes I add an iPod to the mix if Mr. D is being especially loud. I feel better learning that other people find writing to be a bit agonizing at times. It's easy to think that it's easy for everyone else.

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  30. Thank you so much Cawmags. I'm very humbled to find out that I'm one of your favorites because that is a lot of blogs you follow! I can assure you that I'm very non scary in person. Usually I'm the one scared of talking to other people. :)

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  31. Thank you Helen. Mine has also started to complain about not being able to hear the TV. Deal with it child! You've got me thinking though that a blog topic about it could be interesting.

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  32. Haa haa, For a minute I thought, "Who's Captain Tightpants?" Oh yeah that's right! Oh captain Mal, you'll always be our favorite.


    Thanks for letting me know that you like my writing style. Makes me feel better about my ramblings. :)

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  33. Geez it's like deja vu reading this... you sure I didn't write it for you?? It's exactly what I do, and it never seems to get any easier. Except I stick to the straight and narrow (sewing only) and your writing makes me laugh. And you have cake.
    I had someone ask me the other day how I managed to sew my wedding dress. Are you kidding? It was the sewing introvert's ideal excuse to lock myself away in our spare/sewing room for weekends on end and not be expected to you know, do other social stuff. Maybe I need to get married again...
    Anyway I think you need to re-adjust your mind frame round the 'top blog' thing. I think you're fabulous, and clearly do all your other readers :)

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  34. LOL! I love your point about sewing a wedding dress being the best introvert's excuse ever. Why didn't I think of that?! No one is going to give you a hard time about working on it.


    I will try to adjust my thinking cause grousing about it won't do a lick of good.

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  35. Ooh, the divine brown hues lining step ten, and your thoughts on the subject! My best laugh of the month, just started!

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  36. LOL. That Idris knows what girls like. ;)

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  37. indeed you seem so chatty and funny and crazy(! in a good way!)
    I would never know.


    I love to read you, and the comment about Idris and the sweater made me laugh out loud for quite some time!




    I liked reading this :)

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