Fidgeters.. let me give you some yarn

Dear Fidgeter I see that you did not bring anything to entertain yourself..... no book, ipod, video games, causal conversation or nap time for you. But you are not one of those people who sit quietly staring into space, your brain needs something to occupy it. Believe me I understand, this knitting isn't in my lap just because it's fun, but because my hands can't be idle. Without it I would be bouncing my foot, tapping my fingers and constantly going in and out of my bag too. (Well maybe I'd be asleep but lets not speak of that)
Please let me offer you some spare needles and yarn. You might think knitting is old fashioned but you'll find that it's quite addicting. Try a few stitches, let the awkwardness wear off and soon you will be knitting socks, scarves, hats....whatever your heart desires. It will be a rewarding experience I promise you. Oh and the icing on the cake is that yarn is really fun to buy. Just remember I take no responsibly in your finances suddenly taking a turn for the worse.
What you're still not convinced? Well let me tell you my friend, should a certain person continue to slowly drive a certain knitter insane with their twitching, projectile DPNS may occur. I'm using metal ones today.... you might want to take up my offer about the yarn.

(I followed the instructions for a 1 inch toe but this made the sock too wide. Had to rip out a train rides worth of knitting.)